Life in Japan isn't bad.

Early (early!) mornings, the changing seasons, the breathtaking sceneries, the lovely places and people.

Life in Japan isn't bad, you know?

The absolute freedom, the things we do at our own pace, the choices and the consequences that follow, the results of our days that come to pass by. All of it are fully, undisputedly ours. It's just that maybe life kat tanah air sendiri was better.

Well, you know. Subuh pukul 6, maybe buat sarapan, keluar jalan-jalan sikit dengan family for breakfast, those things. Do you still remember? How it used to be.

When we were surrounded by our families and friends. Even though it might feel very normal, to the point that it makes us want to escape, even. Not literally a run-from-home kinda thing. Just, a change of pace, or feeling fully in control of our lives. Maybe to a far away place, like Japan, persay. Well, here we are. The place we dreamed of, spread in front of our eyes. "Finally", I thought to myself back then. Like something we watched on television suddenly manifesting and being tangible.

Jepun ni cantik gila. Kemas, bersih, baharu. Semua benda nampak menarik dan rasa gempak awal-awal.  Sekarang pun kita masih tengah explore dan merasai benda yang baharu, even though dah berapa lama dah kat sini. Hari tu pergi tempat kawan. Merentas negeri kita nak lepak-lepak dengan kawan persediaan. Dompet pun damage jugak la, tpi tu kita tolak ke tepi dahulu.

Ada satu hari tu try fishing dengan orang jepun. Dia bawak jauh-jauh pergi laut, and ajar cara nak fishing, dengan jenis pancing semua. Inii kee memancing? Takdelah berharap apa-apa sangat, tapi nampaknya menunggu tu sama panjang dia dengan perjalanan pergi balik kita. Tapi moment ada ikan terpancing tu semua kelam kabut menjerit. Nampak sangat newbie heheh… Bila fikir balik seronok je, yang penting kena datang dengan orang yang betul.

Lagi satu, hari tu join サークル pergi visit tempat jauh-jauh kat area pergunungan. Cantik gila tempat tu. Jalan sekampung itu pun pergh, Malaysia could never. Macam mana orang Jepun ni boleh maintain condition jalan walaupun di ceruk kampung random di hujung dunia? An honest reflective point there, I thought to myself. Activities yang kitaorang buat dengan orang sana pun seronok, tapi lagi memorable is macam mana diaorang tunjuk minat jugak dengan tempat dari mana kita datang. 国際交流会みたい。Dapat explain tentang Islam jugak sikit-sikit. Ada time tu tiba-tiba rasa macam pendakwah pulak haha.

And lagi satu time tu kita tengah borak dengan kawan jepun, explaining things about my hometown. Dia tanya macam-macam and kita pun rancak menjawab satu persatu. Tapi sbb macam pressure sikit and tak ingat vocab jepun, boleh kita pergi tanya dia balik "Eh ape eh perkataan sekian sekian dalam Jepun?" Dia termenung je kat kita in confusion sambil kita internally cringe, realising a something.

Aku ni macam mana pun, memang tetap orang Malaysia.That realization was impactful. Awal-awal rasa macam serabut sikit laa macam mana la aku boleh gi cakap Melayu dengan orang Jepun, aduhh. Punya lama dah tinggal sini.

Tapi fikir balik, punya lama dah tinggal sini, tapi aku tetap akan cakap Melayu somehow. And this time instead of feeling exasperated, it was a fresh, proud feeling. Rasa macam setia pada yang satu, haha. Whatever that means.

Which made me thinking, kalau aku boleh pilih nak tinggal di Malaysia atau di Jepun, aku pilih yang mana?

Dan jawapannya tak perlukan terlalu banyak berfikir pun. Benarlah kata orang dahulu, hujan emas di negeri orang, hujan batu di negeri sendiri, baik juga di negeri sendiri.

I prefer to live my life in the place from where I came from, the land where I was brought up. The place that shaped my values and my beliefs. Economic things and lifestyle all considered, kalau nak tinggal lama-lama,  aku still rasa Malaysia adalah tempatnya. Lagipun sini takde azan.

Jepun ni bagus. Negra di mana musimnya berubah, pemandangan yang indah belaka, tempat-tempat yang menarik hati dan masyarakatnya yang berprinsip. Akan tetapi, tanah air lebih aku rindui.

Every summer since I came to Japan, my non-negotiables are going to the beach and

watching fireworks. These two activities really scream summer vibes, in my opinion.

And so, this year, I went to see fireworks in Tokyo (finally bought seating tickets this

time!), and I went to a fun beach volleyball event at Hiratsuka Beach. Long story

short, my summer holidays checklist is officially done, and I am very much content. I

would usually fill up the rest of my holidays with travelling, but because this year is

my final year, I have to focus on more important things like internships and research.

Even though this year is different from the last three years, I think the summer vibes

are still the same as ever. One main contribution is, I think, the songs I will listen to

this summer. Funny enough, back in Malaysia, I would never think about this matter,

but here in Japan, surprisingly, my playlist would change depending on the seasons.

Would other people relate to this too?

As I am on the topic of songs, I would like to share my current summer song, which is

Hot Girl Bummer! Last year it was ʻHasta Que Se Seque el Maleconʼ by Jacob

Forever. The song is pretty old (2015), but it gives me joy when travelling, and now

every time I listen back to the song, I remember the picnic I had at the park, the

shopping I did at Shibuya 109, and the games I played at the beach. The song Hot

Girl Bummer is just something I rediscover after awhile but I think it really fits my

situation this year, and definitely on repeat.

Later, when I go back to Malaysia after graduating, I will definitely cherish the playlist

I built over these four years, as I am bringing back Japanʼs summer vibes with me too.